LENT

I love Lent. There is something truly beautiful about reconnecting with God, reminding yourself constantly of the need for sacrifice, for action, and for Christ-centered lives. I love the readings at Mass during Lent, I love the exercise of purging my vices, I love the expectation of Easter!

I give up cola every year. This year I also gave up Facebook & chocolate. In addition, I am joining the movement to choose something to fast of until abortion ends, and I am giving up drive-thorough burgers and sandwiches. I have already boycotted some businesses which donate to abortion providers/advocacies. Namely, Walmart, Starbucks and Coca-cola.

With all of these seeming restrictions on my life, it would be easy to assume that things are getting difficult and tight around our household. Quite the opposite is, in fact, true. Lent seems to have freed up a great deal of joy! :) By choosing to exercise our willpower, we in the Hastings household are finding it comes more naturally to sacrifice of our personal desires/concepts for how things should go, and are re-discovering the joys of giving for the sheer love of another!

God gifts us in such mysterious and wondrous ways!

Blessings

In times of greatest trial and tribulation, it is only necessary to open your heart and submit, and God reveals himself most openly.

I am in North Carolina right now; the Knights of Colombus at the Air Force Academy paid for N, T, and me to fly out here on 03/16 to be at the funeral of my baby sister, who was stillborn at 8 1/2 months of gestation. Hearts in my family break for the loss of DMN, who we were excited to meet and welcome fully into our lives. Grandma M went in on Th, 03/11 after noticing a lack of movement, and was told that she experienced something called placenta abruptio in which the placenta implodes, sometimes resulting in the death of the unborn child. Unfortunately, DMN was below the placenta and when the blood from the implosion pooled, my mom didn't know because the baby blocked the blood from escaping.

We buried DMN on Wed, 03/17. The funeral was beautiful but heartbreaking. Her casket was tiny. The attendance was much greater than expected, and many friends and family members sent condolences and flowers. My sisters NN, 18, and EN, 14, were the pallbearers. NN is in the Air Force Academy and she wore her dress blues for the funeral.

The cemetary was far from the church, and as we followed the hearse, we discussed how surreal it all felt.... Grandma M put it very eloquently, "I feel numb, and then I want to say, 'Give me back that pain! I want that pain!'" The grave was tiny, and didn't seem terribly deep. It was hard to see. Grandpa D began covering her casket, and we then took turns covering her up... N helped Mommy when it was her turn.

Then the church invited the guests to a small reception which was very tastefully done. Tablecloths, flowers, small sandwiches, and a buffet of other general reception foods.

We've received gifts of many varieties, from homemade and purchased foods to flowers to financial gifts to donations made in honor of DMN... We have been shown great love by many many people. DMN was allowed into a cemetary that's all but impossible to get into, on the graces of the Abbot. NN's Academy friends rallied and gifted a sum of money that will be used for DMN's headstone. My Uncle R, Aunt K and cousin L sent a beautiful nightlight of the Blessed Mother holding the baby Jesus.

As Father Buettner pointed out, there are two primary realities in motherhood: the reality of bringing life into the world and caring for that life, and the reality of surrendering and trusting that life to God. Just...most mothers don't experience the second in the sense of their son's or daughter's life in this world being extinguished. I hurt for my mother, but I know that her strength and her faith in God will pull her through this, though it will never be entirely gone.

So now I am here until the 31st. We didn't want to waste the time and money spent on getting N,T, and me to the funeral, so we are staying to spend some quality time with the family. D couldn't get the time off of work, and we're sorry that he couldn't, but sometimes that is how things happen.

Hopefully I'll be able to blog while I'm here, but I am focusing on family right now.

Lord, please grant my family healing in our time of need. Be with us and continue to reveal yourself to your servants. Please give us peace and humility. In the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen. DMN, pray for us.

Right Now

Dinner is prepared and waiting to cook,

N is napping in his bed,

T is asleep on my chest,

D is at work (I miss him),

The house is clean,

I'm drinking juice and planning our day tomorrow,

The weather is nice,

It's quiet,

The clock is ticking,

and I am so very very blessed.

Dear Lord, 

Thank you.

A Good Time at Mass

Usually, I love bringing the boys to mass on Sundays.

That said, today I was not looking forward to mass.

D just had his work schedule change from 1:30-10pm (M-F) to 10:30am-7:30pm (Th-M). Knowing that he was going to be missing every *other* mass option, we had planned to bring the boys to the earlier 8am mass....

But then life happened. We ended up missing the 8am service and I set out to get the boys to the 10:30 service. Alone. (Yikes!)

We got to mass (5 minutes late... well, we can't do it all...) and I was prepared. I had entertainment and a tippy cup for N and a blanket and Snuggli carrier for T (my very favorite Moby Wrap was in the dirty laundry unfortunately).

N was FABULOUS! He sat in the pew all through mass, barely complained at all, and I only ended up needing the tippy cup. YAY!

After mass, the dad sitting in front of us turned around and complimented N on his good behavior. And then we went down for cocoa and donuts and N enjoyed running around with the other children...

I was worried, I'll be honest, that N would figure that he could get away with more without D there. And we're stick-in-the-mud parents about mass (when he misbehaves, he goes outside for a time-out, not to the cry room to play with toys/other children), so I was really worried about how I was going to be able to handle N during mass with T in the Snuggli.

I am SO proud of his good behavior!

Every week, I think about his baptism. He has always loved mass. It could be the peaceful setting. Could also be the music. He LOVES music.

My little guy. How can 19 months have passed by so quickly? And how is it that they seem to be moving even faster these days?

We're scheduling T's baptism soon...

How do they get so big so fast?

Lent: Why it's Not Just for Catholics

A few days ago, my (non-Catholic) husband surprised me with a bit of insight about Lent.

Every year, he joins me in making a sacrifice for the 40 days of Lent. This year, he has given up reading web comics and devoted that time to family interactions. I have given up soda and highly caffeinated foods and drinks (coffee, black tea, etc) in favor of milk, water, and juice. Apparently, his carpooling coworker (J) has also been convinced into making a Lenten commitment (to not insult others).

D described to me a conversation with another coworker. Apparently, he wasn't understanding the concept behind Lent. D & J explained that, "It's a time to prove that you are in control of your impulses. That your vices don't rule you."

What a wonderful way of describing Lent from a secular viewpoint!

Lent is a wonderful time to glorify Our Lord Jesus Christ, by making extra commitments at mass, by fasting on Holy Days, and by exercising our self-control. Do you find yourself tempted by the deception that willpower is overrated, and that worldly pleasures are ultimately fulfilling? How can you better work to 'tone' your self-control 'muscles'? In this time before the joyous Easter season, how are you preparing your life for Christ? What vices would you like to work on?

Father God, You in Your Infinite Wisdom have created me in Your image and likeness. You have crafted my life and world. Help me now, Lord, to glorify You by using my life for righteousness and goodness. Christ, you overcame temptation in the desert. Help me in my commitment to control my impulses, and enrich my life. I thank and praise You, Ever God, for Your ultimate sacrifice, and while I prepare for the season of Easter, I ask You to be with me and strengthen me. Lord, continue to bless my family with Your presence. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.