LENT

I love Lent. There is something truly beautiful about reconnecting with God, reminding yourself constantly of the need for sacrifice, for action, and for Christ-centered lives. I love the readings at Mass during Lent, I love the exercise of purging my vices, I love the expectation of Easter!

I give up cola every year. This year I also gave up Facebook & chocolate. In addition, I am joining the movement to choose something to fast of until abortion ends, and I am giving up drive-thorough burgers and sandwiches. I have already boycotted some businesses which donate to abortion providers/advocacies. Namely, Walmart, Starbucks and Coca-cola.

With all of these seeming restrictions on my life, it would be easy to assume that things are getting difficult and tight around our household. Quite the opposite is, in fact, true. Lent seems to have freed up a great deal of joy! :) By choosing to exercise our willpower, we in the Hastings household are finding it comes more naturally to sacrifice of our personal desires/concepts for how things should go, and are re-discovering the joys of giving for the sheer love of another!

God gifts us in such mysterious and wondrous ways!

Readings for 20 Feb 2011

http://www.usccb.org/nab/022011.shtml

Reading 1
Lv 19:1-2, 17-18
The LORD said to Moses,
“Speak to the whole Israelite community and tell them:
Be holy, for I, the LORD, your God, am holy.
“You shall not bear hatred for your brother or sister in your heart.
Though you may have to reprove your fellow citizen,
do not incur sin because of him.
Take no revenge and cherish no grudge against any of your people.
You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
I am the LORD.”

Ps 103:1-2, 3-4, 8, 10, 12-13

Responsorial Psalm

R. (8a) The Lord is kind and merciful.
Bless the LORD, O my soul;
and all my being, bless his holy name.
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits.
R. The Lord is kind and merciful.
He pardons all your iniquities,
heals all your ills.
He redeems your life from destruction,
crowns you with kindness and compassion.
R. The Lord is kind and merciful.
Merciful and gracious is the LORD,
slow to anger and abounding in kindness.
Not according to our sins does he deal with us,
nor does he requite us according to our crimes.
R. The Lord is kind and merciful.
As far as the east is from the west,
so far has he put our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him.
R. The Lord is kind and merciful.

1 Cor 3:16-23

Reading 2

Brothers and sisters:
Do you not know that you are the temple of God,
and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?
If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person;
for the temple of God, which you are, is holy.
Let no one deceive himself.
If any one among you considers himself wise in this age,
let him become a fool, so as to become wise.
For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in the eyes of God,
for it is written:
God catches the wise in their own ruses,
and again:
The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise,
that they are vain.
So let no one boast about human beings, for everything belongs to you,
Paul or Apollos or Cephas,
or the world or life or death,
or the present or the future:
all belong to you, and you to Christ, and Christ to God.

Mt 5:38-48

Gospel

Jesus said to his disciples:
“You have heard that it was said,
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.
But I say to you, offer no resistance to one who is evil.
When someone strikes you on your right cheek,
turn the other one as well.
If anyone wants to go to law with you over your tunic,
hand over your cloak as well.
Should anyone press you into service for one mile,
go for two miles.
Give to the one who asks of you,
and do not turn your back on one who wants to borrow.
“You have heard that it was said,
 You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.
But I say to you, love your enemies
and pray for those who persecute you,
that you may be children of your heavenly Father,
for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good,
and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust.
For if you love those who love you, what recompense will you have?
Do not the tax collectors do the same?
And if you greet your brothers only,
what is unusual about that?
Do not the pagans do the same?
So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

Fr. Anthony talked about being a temple of God and what that truly means in our lives, how we can transform ourselves through humble and love-centered living, and how the understanding is found within your heart, although it can be affirmed, understood, and focused through your intellect and logic.

It is unfortunate that our world so highly praises intellect. Do not misunderstand; it is, of course, important to utilize the gifts and talents we are given. (see Matthew 5:14-16, Mark 4:21, James 2:18, Matthew 25:1-13 & Matthew 25:14-30 In encouraging that we nurture these, our world is correct. Of course we should encourage a healthy appetite for knowledge and a good expansion of our abilities. However, this is simply not enough.It is not enough to be smart. It is not enough to be talented. It is not enough to make amazing paintings and to talk about all things current and intellectual and to be awesome. It is not even the most important thing. Christ clearly spells out to us that the most important part of our lives on this earth is how we treat God and how we treat our neighbors.

This means that goodness is above our social achievements. Goodness, holiness, being a temple of God is above being smart or wealthy or fun. In a world where intelligence and "excellence" are so praised, in a world where 90% of Downs Syndrome children are aborted, in a world where stupid is a bigger insult than selfish and wherein logic is paramount, what are your priorities? Are you striving for social graces, wealth, intelligence, knowledge, greatness, physical beauty, or recognition and attention? More importantly, are you striving for goodness? Are you striving for Love? Above the things of the world, are you striving for the things of Heaven?

Readings for 6 Feb 2011

Reading 1

Is 58:7-10

Thus says the LORD:
Share your bread with the hungry,
shelter the oppressed and the homeless;
clothe the naked when you see them,
and do not turn your back on your own.
Then your light shall break forth like the dawn,
and your wound shall quickly be healed;
your vindication shall go before you,
and the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer,
you shall cry for help, and he will say: Here I am!
If you remove from your midst
oppression, false accusation and malicious speech;
if you bestow your bread on the hungry
and satisfy the afflicted;
then light shall rise for you in the darkness,
and the gloom shall become for you like midday.

Ps 112:4-5, 6-7, 8-9

Responsorial Psalm

R. (4a) The just man is a light in darkness to the upright.
or:
R. Alleluia.

Light shines through the darkness for the upright;
he is gracious and merciful and just.

Well for the man who is gracious and lends,
who conducts his affairs with justice.
 

He shall never be moved;
the just one shall be in everlasting remembrance.
An evil report he shall not fear;
his heart is firm, trusting in the LORD.

His heart is steadfast; he shall not fear.
Lavishly he gives to the poor;
His justice shall endure forever;
his horn shall be exalted in glory.

1 Cor 2:1-5

Reading 2

When I came to you, brothers and sisters,
proclaiming the mystery of God,
I did not come with sublimity of words or of wisdom.
For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you
except Jesus Christ, and him crucified.
I came to you in weakness and fear and much trembling,
and my message and my proclamation
were not with persuasive words of wisdom,
but with a demonstration of Spirit and power,
so that your faith might rest not on human wisdom
but on the power of God.

Mt 5:13-16

Gospel

Jesus said to his disciples:
“You are the salt of the earth.
But if salt loses its taste, with what can it be seasoned?
It is no longer good for anything
but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.
You are the light of the world.
A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden.
Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket;
it is set on a lampstand,
where it gives light to all in the house.
Just so, your light must shine before others,
that they may see your good deeds
and glorify your heavenly Father.”

Today, Fr. Vincent talked about the term, "salt of the earth" and how much more significant it was when this passage was written rather than now. Although with the popularity of sea salt on the rise, this is changing somewhat. Think about how much one might pay for Mediterranean sea salt in the grocery store, and then think about how much more difficult it would be in Christ's time to obtain exotic flavors (even good Mediterranean sea salt would have been a substantial luxury). The best salt was used as currency frequently. Therefore, you are the salt of the earth is a complex and beautiful idea. We are all different flavors, yet all of the same clay. We are incredibly valuable to God. We enhance the earth. Or, like table salt, we lose our flavor, become bland and devalue ourselves.

I absolutely love that mass always has a central theme. Today's mass could be summed up with the old cliche, "Let your light shine." In other words, be bold, use your talents to His glory, and proclaim God's goodness with all you have. And yes, I have come to believe (after struggling with this issue quite a bit) that your words must be a part of this. When you are blessed, do you recognize God's hand in your life? Do you make an effort to sow goodness in your life?

I struggle with this in many ways. I struggle to praise Him when I know it will not be embraced wholeheartedly. I struggle to actively make Him a part of all of my life. I struggle to use the talents I am given to Glorify Him.

Lord, help me to humble myself to Your Will. Cultivate in me a heart which rejects the worldliness and lies of the Enemy, and help me to foster and embrace a love of Your Divine Plan. When I falter, God, pick me up and remind me of Your Saving Grace. Help me to be the salt of the Earth, and to Glorify you in word, thought, and deed. I make this prayer in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

All or Nothing

In the National Review Online this morning, Matthew J. Franck writes about the dilemma abortion advocates are facing as regards the Gosnell case:

Philadelphia district attorney R. Seth Williams has a choice. Does he go forward with the 33 counts of “illegal late-term abortion” (a fraction of the actual number of such abortions Gosnell performed, but all that can be solidly proven under a two-year statute of limitations) — as well as the eight murder charges? Or does he quietly drop them?

And if he does charge Dr. Gosnell with illegal abortions as well as murder, abortion-rights advocates such as NARAL and Planned Parenthood have a choice. Do they continue to agitate for the regime of abortion on demand that they’ve been defending for 38 years? Do they fold this particular hand, and concede that some abortions occur too late to be permitted at all? There is danger for them in this. If a viable unborn child has a right to life, what about the one just a week or a day shy of viability? And the one just a bit younger than that?

Abortion-rights advocates will be right to sense that the stakes are all or nothing. But do they want Dr. Kermit Gosnell to be the face of the legal order to which they have devoted their energies for four decades?
 

Links to Look At

Life Site News comments on the Senate's close vote not to repeal Obamacare, Fr. Eutenuer's resignation from Human Life International, and the recent March for Life.

Pro-Life News of the Day Discusses HR#3 and the controversy over the term, "forcible rape."


Blogging Heads has an interesting debate between RH Reality Check's Amanda Marcotte and GetReligion.org's Molly Ziegler Hemingway. Look for discussions on March for Life around 24:21 and Amanda's blatant denial of abortion providers' support for late-term abortion on demand starting around 10:14.


Life News discusses some of the fall-out in New Jersey from the Live Action video of former manager Amy Woodruff counseling a supposed sex trafficker on how to hide his illegal operations.

Second Planned Parenthood Affiliate Caught in Live Action Sex Trafficking Video

 Only a day after the first video of a Planned Parenthood employee aiding and abetting who she believed to be an underage sex trafficker was released, Live Action has released full & edited video footage of a Planned Parenthood clinic in Richmond, VA giving information about testing, birth control, time sensitivity for abortions, and judicial bypasses for minors.

Kimberly, a staff member at the Planned Parenthood of Richmond, VA, informs the pimp that her clinic gets 1-2 judicial bypasses for clients each month, and assures him that she will help him should he need to acquire an abortion for his underage prostitutes, though she does warn him that after 13 weeks 6 days, the girls will have to travel out-of-state for their abortions.

While staffer Kimberly is certainly more circumspect in this video than New Jersey (ex)manager Amy Woodruff in Live Action's prior video, she also seems unphased by the sex worker's business, as well as by the age of his prostitutes. To gain rapport, she also shares the information that many of the girls from a local strip club (by name) receive their reproductive health care at her clinic. Forgive me my ignorance, but does this qualify as a violation of confidentiality laws? At the very least, it seems this video should encourage some, even brief, investigation of aforementioned strip club.

We do know that Planned Parenthood eventually called the FBI on this operation. The question that remains to be answered, is who, if anyone, did Kimberly notify?

Of the videos, Lila Rose of Live Action says, "We are sharing the full Richmond footage and transcripts with Virginia law enforcement officials and we are formally asking Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli to conduct a statewide investigation of these heinous practices, just as the New Jersey Attorney General is opening her own investigation into Planned Parenthood’s compliance with the law in her state. Planned Parenthood needs to be held accountable."

Webcast to Address Planned Parenthood Protection of Sex Traffickers

A little added bonus to round off my day, exposeplannedparenthood.com will be streaming a webcast devoted to the subject of Planned Parenthood's protection of sex trafficking as exposed by Lila Rose and Live Action. According to Expose Planned Parenthood's website, speakers will include:

• LILA ROSE, Live Action
• MARJORIE DANNENFELSER, Susan B. Anthony List
• TONY PERKINS, Family Research Council
• DAVID BEREIT, 40 Days for Life
• ABBY JOHNSON, Former Planned Parenthood Director, Now Pro-Life Activist and Author
• DR. ALVEDA KING, Priests for Life
• WENDY WRIGHT, Concerned Women for America
• CHARMAINE YOEST, Americans United for Life Action
• STEVE WAGNER, The Renewal Forum

 (M note, Dr. King happens to be Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s niece)
Log in on Thursday, February 3 at 8:30pm Eastern time.

Ask and you shall receive!

Well, I had barely moved on from posting about Lila Rose & Live Action's undercover sting on a NJ Planned Parenthood affiliate and my prediction of more to come when I hopped onto Jill Stanek's blog and was met with this article.

According to Lila Rose at BigGovernment.com, "The visual evidence speaks for itself. And there’s more to come. PP is scrambling to silence our story and evidence. But in the end, the truth will get out." In a press release today, Rose stated, "Soon, we will be releasing more evidence to law enforcement officials and the public showing that Planned Parenthood is willing to aid and abet sexual exploitation of minors and young women.  As our research and evidence will show, this is not only a problem for one clinic in New Jersey — it is much broader and more endemic."

So what is Planned Parenthood's response? After initially calling the video falsified, using words like "edited tape" to imply that Rose had manipulated the video, they have backpedaled a bit and fired Amy Woodruff, the (now-former) manager of the Perth Amboy abortion mill in New Jersey. PP Central NJ CEO Phyllis Kinsler called Woodruff's behavior, "repugnant manner that is inconsistent with our standards of care and is completely unacceptable."

Stuart Schear calls it, "Completely inconsistent with Planned Parenthood's guidelines," and goes on to say, "The organization that is coming in and is secretly taping [...] are not concerned about women [...] they have a very extreme political agenda." He further states that this manner of playing fast and loose with the law and women's safety is, "Not indicative of a systemic problem."

Watch Schear repeatedly assert that this is not a problem of Planned Parenthood's, but of the employees below.

 Seems Cecile Richards 'stepped in it' big time. By bringing in the press in her attempt to control the playing field, she has brought the media attention to Live Action's video. And now, instead of one isolated incident... or at least, of this manner... Planned Parenthood is looking at multiple stings, multiple videos, and multiple examples of Planned Parenthood employees working to circumnavigate the law.

Lila Rose's Undercover Videos Released

Well, I mentioned Lila Rose & LiveAction's sex trafficking sting on Planned Parenthood recently. For roughly a week, there has been discussion about whether or not there was anything to the videos. Turns out, there was.

Specifically, LiveAction exposes these laws being broken/manipulated:

1. Sexual Abuse Cover up
2. Aiding and abetting statutory rape
3. Aiding and abetting minor prostitution
4. Aiding and abetting human trafficking
5. RICO/conspiracy/racketeering

 Planned Parenthood supporters cite the FBI report filed by PP only days before LiveAction released their full video. So, a few questions:
-If PP did indeed have a problem with the supposed sex trafficking, why wait to file a report? Even so long as to inform the FBI that they believed it was a sting.
-If PP suspected foul play, why wait until yesterday to suspend & then terminate Amy Woodcomb, the manager depicted in these videos?
-If this is not, in fact, condoned by Planned Parenthood as a whole, what is attracting all these people to Planned Parenthood positions? (Note: those are 3 different links each to pages with multiple videos & employees)

Cecile Richards, Planned Parenthood CEO, brought the press into this last week, when they filed the report. According to VP for communications, Stuart Schear, Planned Parenthood's investigation found that the purported sex trafficker worked for LiveAction. One must, therefore, wonder why PP's investigation found no wrongdoing on their part prior to yesterday morning, when LiveAction released this video.

I wonder if we will be seeing similar videos from LiveAction hit the blogosphere in the next few days. While I'd rather believe that most counselors, at PP and otherwise, would turn these folks away, I would also really like to see Planned Parenthood bring about their own demise. For now, perhaps this story will be enough for some expectation of greater enforcement at PP clinics. And perhaps better auditing....

N's very difficult week

Ever have one of those weeks when you feel like your kids are falling apart on you?

Well, I've seen it happen before, but this is my first time truly experiencing it as a mommy.

I mentioned that N got a dog bite (really, it was a nip gone bad) on Friday the 7th. That night, when we put him down to bed, I called the advice nurse and actually felt really good about things when the night ended. However, the wound got infected almost immediately, and on Saturday morning, we brought N into the doctor's office with a swollen face and a low-grade fever.

The on-call pediatrician looked at the bite area and sent us to the ER, where they drained the infection and then admitted us into the Pediatrics ward. D stayed overnight with N, and we got to go home on Sunday afternoon.

N kept a low-grade fever which concerned me until Monday night. I kept in contact with the advice nurse (for any mommies out there who don't utilize the advice line, I would strongly recommend saving it in your contacts. It's free for patients and it's so nice to have the peace of mind!)...

On Tuesday, N went in for a follow-up appointment. The doctor told us that the diaper rash he was developing was a result of the diarrhea he had from the Augmentin (the oral antibiotic routine they put him on) and we got him probiotics to help regulate his digestion.

The diaper rash got much worse and I called the advice nurse again Saturday evening. She said it was just a result of the Augmentin, and apparently antibiotics often cause yeast infections in children, so I should get antifungal for his diaper area and let him hang out sans diaper as much as possible.

Monday morning, his diaper rash wasn't much better, and he had a full-body rash which looked like Roseola. Concerned, I brought him in to see the pediatrician who told us that N's rash was a reaction (not a true allergy because it didn't bother him, but a reaction) to the amoxicillin in the Augmentin. Apparently it's related to a penicillin allergy, so we need to watch out for that.

The pics are of him AFTER we stopped the antibiotics.

So, in the past week and a half, my little guy has had a bite, an infection, a fever, a diaper rash/yeast infection, and a full-body rash. I brought him out of the doctor's office with a splotchy red face, a scab on his chin (where the bite was), and a big red painful diaper rash (we're talking chemical burn bad, and it developed in under 24 hours).

That said, ever since he stopped taking the antibiotics, his rash has gone waaaay down, his diaper rash has gotten MUCH better, his diarrhea is gone, and the bite still appears to be healing and the fever hasn't come back.

I'm not sure I knew anything about parenthood before these last 2 weeks, really!

Learning to Fall

My darling husband believes it is extremely important for young children to learn how gravity works on their bodies and how to fall.

That's the fancy way that he usually uses to explain why he loves tossing N in the air every which way till Sunday.

I kid you not, D throws him up by his hips, feet, waist, etc, always catching him (so far*fingers crossed*) and always eliciting squeals of joy, giggles, and insistent pleas for more.

Sometimes, I swear, it looks as though he's abusing our 20-month-old son... except for the smile and laughter.

Now, I know... I know ... that D is always in control and never performs these tricks over hard surfaces. Still, I cringe a little every time he starts up, and I've given him grief before about the claim to need to know how to fall being complete bunk.

Well, never again will I assert that knowing how to fall comes naturally and needn't be taught, nor will I argue the unimportance of parents teaching such a trait.

Yesterday, when he tripped on pavement, my 20-month-old son briskly caught himself with his hands, allowed his weight to continue down, and managed to fall without a single scratch. Zero bleeding. A few tears, admittedly, but far better than I've done even recently when tripping.

And his face hit that pavement. Not hard, because he knew how to fall with it. But I picked him up and I know that the little face hit pavement.

Poor guy, I felt so bad for him.

Lest you argue that I should have been more alert, I was standing next to him and holding his brother when it happened. He simply caught his foot and tripped in the blink of an eye. And he was in my arms the moment he reacted.

Yes, my darling dearest husband, I cede to your wisdom in this matter of falls and tumbles. Teach away, oh wise one. ;)

Things I Love

God

My husband

My sons

My family

My friends

Good days at Mass

Our church

Sun on my back

Clean rooms

Vacuuming

Writing

Reading

Feeling fresh & clean

Honey

A cold glass of milk

Walking into a house that smells like dinner

Perfect hair days

Hot cocoa on rainy/windy nights

The boys' smiles...and smiles in general

The smell of fresh coffee

For that matter, the taste of fresh coffee

Finding sweet home accessories for low prices, particularly at yard sales/Goodwill

Music

Dancing

Doing funny things for N to imitate

Wind chimes

Good food

Finishing projects

Brushing my hair

Long baths

Hot showers

Kisses & hugs from my favorite people

N's incredibly long eyelashes

Artwork with soul

When D lets me sleep in an extra 30 min or hour

Homemade gifts

The women at Fabric Depot who obviously made their kids' ADORABLE clothes

Delicious desserts

 

Knitting Adventures

In a recent attempt to be more productive with my time, I started knitting... and when I say started, I mean started. I used my good friend youtube.com to teach me how to knit, purl, increase, decrease, bind off, and after some time, what k2togtbl (or p2togtbl) means and how to do it... I am amateur at best, but I have 2 finished projects (rather, 2 of the same finished project) under my belt.

The first one I did wrong. Rather than moving the yarn in front of the needle each time I did a knit stitch, I moved the yarn behind the needle each time. This, it turns out, makes all the difference.

So here's N in my *first* finished project:

Having successfully (if incorrectly) completed my first ever knitted project, I started on another sweater vest, same style, for my 3 yo godson, KC. After researching why N's sweater vest came out so thick and bulky, I came up with this for KC:

So there it is! My second-ever knitted project! Looks a little lumpy in the left photo only because it's sitting funny, by the way.

Next on the agenda is this handsome sweater ... if I can actually figure out knitting on circular knitting needles and/or in the round. I have the tools, I have the ambition, do I have the skills? We'll find out, I guess!

Yay!!!!

Well, after a looooong hiatus because of mommy's laziness and general distractions in our lives, N went pee-pee on the potty again today like a BIG boy! Yay!!!!

He is currently enjoying his orange m&m (I should comment that m&m was his sixth word, behind "daddy" "mommy" "hi" "no" and "yes"... not that he's had many in his little life, but they've always been mentioned by name and hey, they're sweet!)

We're all excited!

Okay, I was having a hard time with the camera so maybe I was a little strained.

But believe me when I say, EVERYone in our house is happy about this!

Happy Easter!

 Jesus Christ is Risen today! Alleluia! Alleluia!

Dinner menu:
Spiral cut brown sugar glazed ham
scalloped potatoes
asparagus
rolls

Dessert:
The hubby's fabulous dark chocolate cream pie

N had a bad cough/sore throat last night and kept D up all night. We brought him to mass anyway, but then put him right down for nap, after which, he had brunch and found his basket. Then it was back down for nap (poor kid was allowed only a very small amount of chocolate). He seems to be doing better now, though. We'll see, I suppose, how he does at bedtime.

This morning when we got home from mass I made a big brunch. Yummers. Then, N found his basket with some help from Mommy, who also found T's basket. D had hidden a basket for me, too, which I gladly searched out. I'll admit it: I was a bad wifey. With the funeral and family visit, I never finished getting his basket together. I did the walk of shame with what I had collected, which he greatly appreciated. He was, of course, extremely understanding.

Talked to Grandma M, who brought the family to DMN's gravesite to plant flowers after mass in NC. I'm glad. They also removed the dead flowers (the spray and stands from the funeral), which they're planning to bury in the backyard. It feels fitting. It just doesn't seem right to throw them away and they're dead so no one wants them hanging around forever.

I think about her a lot. She and T would have been so close. And part of me thinks that because of that, she and I would have grown close. I guess that's mostly my old preggers thoughts seeping into my what-could-have-been thoughts. Ridiculous, since we live across the country, but I never said I was sensible.

It's hard to be here when I feel like I could be so much more help there. Not that I'm not needed here; I know that life isn't stopping at home just because there's been a tragedy in my family. But I feel like I should be more helpful. I feel like they've done more to help me than I have done to help them.

Sorry. Today should be a happy peaceful day of rejoicing. It is, too. I'm just being contemplative now.

D bought me soda and brought it out so that I knew I didn't need to buy myself any. Haha, he knows how surprisingly difficult it was for me to avoid drinking any soda during Lent. I am happy to say, however, that I completely honored my Lenten commitment of no high caffeine drinks (hot cocoa was always okay) and no soda whatsoever (not even an Italian soda). Even though they offer you soda CONSTANTLY on plane trips. I mean, every time I looked over, there was a stewardess going down the aisle with the beverage cart, which is largely soda. It was good for both me and N to avoid the soda, though, as N usually wears me down in public spaces like that and would likely have gotten a few sips out of my glass even if it had been soda (it was orange juice and he had plenty of it).

Well, that's all for now. Have a happy and blessed Easter!

He is not here; for he has been raised, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples, ‘He has been raised from the dead, and indeed he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see him.’
-Matthew 28:6-7

We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us—and we ought to lay down our lives for one another. 
-1 John 3:16

We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. The death he died, he died to sin, once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.
-Romans 6:9-10

Blessings

In times of greatest trial and tribulation, it is only necessary to open your heart and submit, and God reveals himself most openly.

I am in North Carolina right now; the Knights of Colombus at the Air Force Academy paid for N, T, and me to fly out here on 03/16 to be at the funeral of my baby sister, who was stillborn at 8 1/2 months of gestation. Hearts in my family break for the loss of DMN, who we were excited to meet and welcome fully into our lives. Grandma M went in on Th, 03/11 after noticing a lack of movement, and was told that she experienced something called placenta abruptio in which the placenta implodes, sometimes resulting in the death of the unborn child. Unfortunately, DMN was below the placenta and when the blood from the implosion pooled, my mom didn't know because the baby blocked the blood from escaping.

We buried DMN on Wed, 03/17. The funeral was beautiful but heartbreaking. Her casket was tiny. The attendance was much greater than expected, and many friends and family members sent condolences and flowers. My sisters NN, 18, and EN, 14, were the pallbearers. NN is in the Air Force Academy and she wore her dress blues for the funeral.

The cemetary was far from the church, and as we followed the hearse, we discussed how surreal it all felt.... Grandma M put it very eloquently, "I feel numb, and then I want to say, 'Give me back that pain! I want that pain!'" The grave was tiny, and didn't seem terribly deep. It was hard to see. Grandpa D began covering her casket, and we then took turns covering her up... N helped Mommy when it was her turn.

Then the church invited the guests to a small reception which was very tastefully done. Tablecloths, flowers, small sandwiches, and a buffet of other general reception foods.

We've received gifts of many varieties, from homemade and purchased foods to flowers to financial gifts to donations made in honor of DMN... We have been shown great love by many many people. DMN was allowed into a cemetary that's all but impossible to get into, on the graces of the Abbot. NN's Academy friends rallied and gifted a sum of money that will be used for DMN's headstone. My Uncle R, Aunt K and cousin L sent a beautiful nightlight of the Blessed Mother holding the baby Jesus.

As Father Buettner pointed out, there are two primary realities in motherhood: the reality of bringing life into the world and caring for that life, and the reality of surrendering and trusting that life to God. Just...most mothers don't experience the second in the sense of their son's or daughter's life in this world being extinguished. I hurt for my mother, but I know that her strength and her faith in God will pull her through this, though it will never be entirely gone.

So now I am here until the 31st. We didn't want to waste the time and money spent on getting N,T, and me to the funeral, so we are staying to spend some quality time with the family. D couldn't get the time off of work, and we're sorry that he couldn't, but sometimes that is how things happen.

Hopefully I'll be able to blog while I'm here, but I am focusing on family right now.

Lord, please grant my family healing in our time of need. Be with us and continue to reveal yourself to your servants. Please give us peace and humility. In the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen. DMN, pray for us.

Work...

I'm going into work tonight for the first time since T was born.

They started calling, offering shifts here and there, a few weeks ago. I just wasn't really ready for it then, though. I thought I would be, but when they started offering, I realized I didn't want to go back yet.

But then I got an offer to work this shift.

And realized, "yeah! I am ready!"

So it's off I go. 5 whole hours away from both boys. We'll see how it goes. That's 5 hours that D is solely responsible for both boys. He's a good daddy, and I know he'll do great, but I wonder how worn out he'll be when I get home (it's always a little life-affirming when I get to see how he does when faced with my daily routine, but it's hard to see him so frayed).

*Wish us luck!*

Haircuts.. How do you?

We recently cut N's hair for the first time...

I had no idea what a time we were in for when we started!

I decided to do it at home. *BIG* mistake, given that our tools were...lacking.

First of all, N is an extremely curious child, and didn't want to sit still at all while I ran the clippers through his hair.

Add to that, he has incredibly fine hair which flows right through the guard without getting any shorter.

Mix in a nervous mommy.

Stir a bit and come up with...

An uneven head of hair...

So, how do you mommas do it? Cut hair at home? Bring them to a salon? Let Daddy worry about it? Share advice, stories, whatever. Let me know! :)

A Good Time at Mass

Usually, I love bringing the boys to mass on Sundays.

That said, today I was not looking forward to mass.

D just had his work schedule change from 1:30-10pm (M-F) to 10:30am-7:30pm (Th-M). Knowing that he was going to be missing every *other* mass option, we had planned to bring the boys to the earlier 8am mass....

But then life happened. We ended up missing the 8am service and I set out to get the boys to the 10:30 service. Alone. (Yikes!)

We got to mass (5 minutes late... well, we can't do it all...) and I was prepared. I had entertainment and a tippy cup for N and a blanket and Snuggli carrier for T (my very favorite Moby Wrap was in the dirty laundry unfortunately).

N was FABULOUS! He sat in the pew all through mass, barely complained at all, and I only ended up needing the tippy cup. YAY!

After mass, the dad sitting in front of us turned around and complimented N on his good behavior. And then we went down for cocoa and donuts and N enjoyed running around with the other children...

I was worried, I'll be honest, that N would figure that he could get away with more without D there. And we're stick-in-the-mud parents about mass (when he misbehaves, he goes outside for a time-out, not to the cry room to play with toys/other children), so I was really worried about how I was going to be able to handle N during mass with T in the Snuggli.

I am SO proud of his good behavior!

Every week, I think about his baptism. He has always loved mass. It could be the peaceful setting. Could also be the music. He LOVES music.

My little guy. How can 19 months have passed by so quickly? And how is it that they seem to be moving even faster these days?

We're scheduling T's baptism soon...

How do they get so big so fast?

Cooking with Little Ones

I remember as a kid loving to be a part of just about everything that went on in the kitchen.

Of course, I stopped showing an interest in dishes when I realized they were work...

But I still love cooking.

And can hardly wait to involve N in dinner/dessert preparations!