What I Love About Sundays

Whenever I can manage, I try to plan my Sunday meals in advance. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Even when I am being lazy and miss planning every other day, I try to get Sunday planned out. This has resulted in 2 things (a) delicious culinary treats on Sundays, and (b) a little easier time relaxing and honoring the Lord's day.

The whole concept of the Lord's day inspires me. A day for family, for joy, for celebration, and for relaxation. I admit, I'm not always fantastic at honoring the relaxation part. Sometimes work gets in the way, sometimes events get in the way. Nonetheless, I am inspired. I love Sundays. I love the moments of quiet, the extra time for cuddles. I love playing cars or tickling or reading to my boys.

I love listening to the Word. I love learning during the gospel and homily. I especially love being in the Presence and knowing Christ in the Eucharist. I love the phrase "Et cum spiritu tuo." I love the latin chants. I love the way N is learning to cross himself. I love the hymns. I love being in the Presence with my family.

There is something special about Sundays.

Blog for Abor--er, uh, Choice Day

Every year on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, pro-life groups and individuals gather and march, in Washington DC and throughout the nation, to protest the government sanctioned killing of over 50 million unborn humans in the years since Roe v. Wade. These marches have been incredibly effective at spreading the ugly truth about abortion, and have also served to make our strength known to politicians nationwide.

In light of their poor attendance to past events, it's no great wonder that when NARAL and other abortion advocates launched a counter-event, they chose an online forum. After all, online seems to be the only place they can compete in any real numbers. While the nation is still close to a 50/50 split down the "abortion" line, anti-abortion forces are stronger in conviction and motivation as a whole.

This year, NARAL kicks off its sixth "Blog for Choice Day," wherein they ask abortion advocates to blog about so-called reproductive freedom and the 'necessity' of choice. The response from anti-abortion groups is simple: Ask them what choice they mean.

So, let's talk about "choice," shall we? What does the infamous term "reproductive freedom" really mean? What is a "choice" as NARAL, NOW, Planned Parenthood, and Emily's List (among others) define it?

Abortion is an ugly word. It refers to the process of ending the life of a growing human at his or her most vulnerable. Because this is usually done early in the course of a pregnancy and the mother is not exposed to such facts as the true development of the human life inside of her, the ultrasound photos/video of her womb, and the biological, scientific definition of a human fetus, pro-abortion forces have by-and-large been able to hide the brutal truth of abortion from women experiencing a surprise pregnancy.

The facts on abortion are this: in the moment when a human sperm meets and joins with a human egg, a life is begun. That life has human DNA, unique from the DNA of either parent. That life begins rapidly to shift from a relatively static existence as two pieces of potential into a growing and developing human form. Although we cannot immediately see in a zygote/blastocyst/embryo the human form, it cannot be denied that the growing life inside the womb in that instant is a distinctive human being.

Abortion stops that life. There are a number of ways in which this is achieved. Starvation is the first. Rising in infamy and popularity is the RU-486 abortion and other similar abortion pills. These pills work through the chemical mifepristone by suppressing the hormone progesterone in the woman's body. Progesterone supplies nourishment through the uterine lining to the developing baby, and suppresses uterine contractions which could otherwise serve to flush the uterus, and with it, the growing human life. RU-486, though the least invasive abortion procedure, can also be one of the most physically difficult, as it essentially boils down to days and days of horrific cramping and bleeding.

Another way of ending pregnancy, this one declining in popularity, is through chemically burning the contents of the uterus, including the life within. The developing baby is burned with a saline solution and the chemical solution causes the uterus to contract. This form of abortion requires artificially dilating the cervix as well.

Possibly the most infamous form of abortion in use currently is also the most common surgical abortion nationwide. This is called the suction-aspiration abortion and is a particularly brutal manner of killing the human life, involving inserting a cannula (suction tube) into the uterus and sucking the developing baby into the tube. Abby Johnson, the former Planned Parenthood director, describes this process in detail as she saw it on an ultrasound:

My eyes shot back to the screen again. The cannula was already being rotated by the doctor, and now I could see the tiny body violently twisting with it. For the briefest moment it looked as if the baby were being wrung like a dishcloth, twirled and squeezed. And then the little body crumpled and began disappearing into the cannula before my eyes. The last thing I saw was the tiny, perfectly formed backbone sucked into the tube, and then everything was gone. And the uterus was empty.

 When she partook in this abortion, Abby Johnson was the director of the Planned Parenthood clinic in Bryan, TX where the first 40 Days for Life campaign was held. This abortion was performed on a 13-week-old human fetus.

The most controversial and brutal forms of abortion are late-term abortion procedures such as those performed by the late George Tiller. These are done a number of ways, most commonly beginning by using an injection to the baby to induce heart attack and then inducing labor. Late-term abortions which have been famously outlawed include delivering the baby to his or her head and then suctioning out his or her brain tissue, fully delivering a baby and then allowing him or her to die from lack of care, and other equally horrific procedures.

So, when NARAL speaks of "reproductive freedom," what do they mean? Setting aside for a moment the debate about the birth control pill, which I have briefly touched upon previously and will go into more detail about later, the reality of the fact is that by "choice" and "reproductive freedom", abortion rights groups are advocating the legal sanctioning and even funding of their perceived right for women to have their already alive, already developing human babies killed.

The fact of the matter is that abortion preys on women and children. Abortion rights groups make money, lots of money, off of intentionally misrepresenting the fact that by choosing to end your pregnancy, you are choosing to end a life. If abortion were, in fact, rare, as Planned Parenthood and other providers indicate that they want, abortion rights groups would suffer. And abortion rights groups don't want to lose money.

There is big money in the "services" of "choice."

Looking Through The Fence

In her book unPlanned, Abby Johnson uses the fence surrounding the Bryan, TX Planned Parenthood abortion clinic as a metaphor for the abortion debate to GREAT success!

Johnson retells her experience in a captivating and highly believable manner. Her tone speaks to her readership magnificently, bringing to life the how and why of her shift into the pro-choice/pro-abortion industry. Johnson accepts her inconsistencies with the maturity and grace achievable only by growth into Truth. Although her perception has changed, and she accepts how dramatically, she also is able to relate to her readership how she was able to be convinced by the abortion industry's strongest talking points.

Perhaps the greatest moment in Johnson's book comes when she describes her realization of the weight of her pride on her decisions. Looking across the fence at the praying protesters, Abby realizes, "I am on the wrong side of the fence!" Surrendering her preconceived notions of the pro-life cause, letting go of her (tightly held) belief in the ultimate good of legal abortions, Abby Johnson writes with charming and humble simple humanity.

The beginning is a little bit heavy to get through for someone experienced in arguing either side of the abortion debate, as college-aged Abby Johnson shows a naivete we rarely desire to revisit. In this, though, I must also give her credit, as she is honest and forthcoming about her youth, from her bad relationship decisions to her abortion experiences (as a patient) to her simple acceptance of the friendly volunteer recruiter's pro-abortion arguments.

unPlanned is a fresh and honest look at the abortion industry from the inside, and most especially at the mentality of abortion providers. It is a humble and eloquent expression of God's influence on life's events. It is a story about turning from pride to submission, from temporal to eternal. In a society that emphasizes immediate gratification, short-term "solutions," and self-obsessed motivations, unPlanned elegantly introduces and elevates the ideals of self-sacrifice, trust and patience in an absorbing narrative.

About NFP: Why I Use It

I don't really mean to get up on my soapbox, but I was asked about the form of birth planning I use, and I thought I would do this right and explain my reasons first, and then get into he specifics on how Natural Family Planning works in a later post. If you're uninterested, no offense taken. Otherwise, bear with me because I want to explain NFP properly.

More info on the Couple-to-Couple League's form of the Sympto-Thermal Method can be found here.

Natural Family Planning is the concept of using the woman's body's signals to space children without the interference of artificial birth control methods such as the birth control pill, IUDs, depo-provera (the shot), condoms, sponges, et cetera. The method I use is called the Sympto-thermal method and takes into account the body's rhythm, mucus discharge, temperature, and cervix positioning. I am using the Couple-to-couple league's workbook and aid. The cost for the workbook, supplies, and the included year's membership (with free consultation) is $120. D and I decided to order the home study course and intend to attend the classes in person as soon as possible (included in the membership cost).

Our decision to switch to Natural Family Planning was made after we learned more about the hormonal birth control pill we were using as a form of family planning. We learned that hormonal birth control, nearly across the board, works by doing one of two things: first, it sends a signal to your body telling it that you are already pregnant, to which your body responds by not ovulating. Second, it weakens the endometrium, or uterine lining, resulting in any 'breakthrough' eggs to be flushed rather than to attach to the uterine wall. In other words, the initial function is to keep your egg from dropping, but in the case that your egg does drop and fertilization (conception) does occur, the fertilized embryo is then prevented from attaching to the uterine lining. It is starved and flushed from the uterus.


My personal reaction to this news was complex. I felt ignorant, guilty, sorrowful, and humbled. In my arrogance, I had believed that I could make a decision which directly countered a basic principle of my faith (Roman Catholic) based on very minimal research or understanding of the actual functions of birth control. In doing so, I had altered my body chemistry and quite possibly caused the miscarriage I had experienced a year prior.

While its reckless approach to life was the biggest reason for my turn from hormonal birth control (HBC), understanding the functions of HBC helped me to realize unadvertised negative side effects. When your body releases an egg from its follicle, the empty follicle (called corpus leteum), then begins to produce progesterone. Progesterone causes the pituitary gland to suppress ovulation. Psychiatric effects of progesterone include depression, mood swings, emotional instability, aggression, abnormal crying, insomnia, forgetfulness, sleep disorders. Sound familiar? Progesterone is basically the PMS hormone. Not surprisingly, progesterone levels remain high pretty much throughout pregnancy.

HBC works by combining varying levels of estrogen and progestin (a synthetic form of progesterone). Essentially, HBC constantly increases the amount of progesterone in your system, telling your body that you are pregnant 3 weeks out of each month. The week of "pink [placebo] pills" is included to allow withdrawal bleeding (basically, it flushes your system). So in other words, on HBC, you're either constantly PMS-ing (hormonally speaking) or else you are on your period.

Although these alone are substantial arguments in favor of NFP, there are a number of other benefits to using a more natural approach to birth spacing.

It is well-known that nearly half of all marriages in the US end in divorce. According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America:
The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%

So it's incredibly heartening to look at the divorce rates for NFP-practicing couples. According to a study by the Family of the Americas Foundation, divorce rates in NFP-practicing couples is only 0.2%! "Jottings" by John Kipley of the Couple-to-couple league, cites multiple informal studies placing the divorce rates of NFP-practicing couples between 1 and 5 %.

Natural Family Planning works by educating a couple about how fertility works. What signs indicate increased fertility, when to expect ovulation, and when to expect menstruation. Without artificially controlling these things. This can be a boon not only in understanding one's body, but also in the future should the couple ever desire to conceive again.

One of my concerns when approaching the Natural Family Planning debate was effectiveness. However, this chart describes the effectiveness rate of different pregnancy prevention methods.

No birth control method 20%
Calendar Rythm (Ognio-Knaus) 87%
Withdrawl 91%
Ovulation (or Billings) method 96%
Diaphragm with spermicide 97%
Foam 97%
LAM (Breastfeeding) (first 6 months) 98%
Condom 99%
IUD 99%
Pill 99.7%
Sympto-Thermal Method 99.8%
Tubal Ligation 99.6%
Vasectomy 99.85%
Castration, removal of ovaries, abstinenct: 100%

This data was reported by the U.S. Department of Health, Education and Welfare, and various respected medical journals.

Artificial forms of birth control intentionally separate the act of sex from the act of creation. Therefore, when a couple practicing artificial forms of birth control gets pregnant as a result of "protected" sex, the resultant life is seen as burdensome, rather than as a blessing. The child is a surprise, and it is easy to see that life as an unwelcomed surprise. Practicing NFP, however, serves to constantly remind the couple that the act of sex is, in fact, a life-giving act. As such, an unexpected pregnancy can still be a welcomed surprise, because after all, sex causes babies.

Dear Aunt N,

Your nephews are asleep. Your brother-in-law is asleep. Your sister should be asleep. However, this fuzzy purple blanket you forgot in my sofa bed is so invitingly comfortable, and it combines with the quiet to give such a sense of peace. Even in the midst of chaos, I'm joyful :)

 We prayed for you tonight, and I should have been focusing on your discernment, but my mind wandered to your fuzzy purple blanket. I have written a letter in which I offer to send it wherever directed, and I will happily do so, but I will confess that a small part of me hopes you don't want it.

A greedy part.

I love you, my dear little sis.

You and your blanket.

Adventures in Potty Training

Weeeelll, life got away from us. And when N started waking up & entertaining himself for a while before calling to us to get him out of his room, he also started wetting his diaper in the morning. Previously, I'd been bringing him to the toilet first thing when he woke up. Now, it's been months since he used the potty last and we're struggling about getting him to use it again. No matter how often I put him on the toilet, he just waits until he has a diaper on (or else waits until he can no longer hold it).

Honestly, I'd be willing to accept slowly working through this if not for one thing: N hates soiled diapers so much that he will pull off his pants and take off his diapers if they are even just wet. It's incredibly irritating at the least to find a stray dirty diaper. Far worse to find a little boy covered in his own mess...and then to have to track down the stray diaper (after dealing with said messy boy, of course).

So I'm not doing it anymore. I have drawn my line in the sand. He will be potty training.

Today begins our marathon. We started the day in the bathroom, but since it's small, it wasn't going to work for both babies and me. So now the potty is in the living room (on a bathroom mat) and I have an eagle eye on my little guy. He really doesn't like it. He is insistent that he needs to wear a diaper. I'm not buying your shtick, buddy.

Crawling Talking & Opinionated!

As promised, an update on the boys!

T started crawling! At first, it was rocking on his hands & knees and then catapulting himself onto his face. He would seriously use this as a method of transportation (silly guy!). It was pretty adorable. But now he crawls all around the house. He likes to get himself standing supported on things but then seems to get stuck a lot. It's nice to have him a bit more independent though!

I've noticed that he is going through more of a "stranger anxiety" period than N did at this age. He seems much more clingy to D and I than he had been, and his routine is all-important. This sometimes gets frustrating (like when I have to go into work, or when D and I want/need a date night) but we're working through it. It helps to have a baby carrier and his big bro around.

N's vocabulary is growing all the time. He's still on 2-word sentences like "No nap", "Go walk". "Hi Dad" and "Love you", but he is constantly using new nouns. This morning, he kept pointing to his closet saying, "bike" which had me completely confused until I saw that he was pointing directly at a shirt that had a bike on it. He also uses, "Off" and "On", "open" and "closed", and "yes" and "no" more accurately now. We're getting ready for his second birthday on the 18th! :)