Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Slipping into Self-Righteousness

Do you ever find yourself, like me, slipping into feelings of self-righteousness and increased self-worth?

Lately, I have been more observant of these bad habits, and I have been trying to combat them. It's very difficult work, and I'm barely chipping at the surface of my pride and arrogance. :-/

To accept that someone else could be right, and I could be wrong, particularly in regards to something about which I feel strongly, is a huge struggle for me. To put such a gouge in my pride as to admit that I'm simply not taking actions that glorify God is... well, frustrating. And yet I know that what I consider a gouge is simply a dent... oddly, it gives me strength. I suppose it's because I am such a stubborn and tenacious person.

Even small actions I take clearly show my self-righteousness, my arrogance, my pride...

Driving home, I find myself aggravated by the speed of traffic, drivers making decisions with which I don't agree, etc. I find myself elevating my opinion of 'proper' driving, making myself a sort of small 'god' of the road.

Of course, my parents could tell you that I've always been their 'little Hitler,' an effect of my personality combined with being the eldest. But didn't you know? My way is clearly best.

What a ridiculous notion, that my way is the best way!

When my soul knows the Truth that His way is The Way. That any way that isn't His is certain to fail me in the end.

So now I am trying to pause when I find my emotions beginning to run high. I am trying to think through my biases. I am trying to channel God's love when dealing with those around me.

How do you struggle with pride? In what ways do you overcome your struggles?

Lord, thank You for my many blessings. Thank You for opening my heart to Your Word. Thank You for touching my life with two wonderful children. Teach me to walk in Your path. Help me to submit my whole self to Your will. Give me the courage and wisdom to follow You, especially when I struggle to understand the directions You follow. Remind me always that I am redeemed through Your Son and not through my own actions. Give me the strength and humility to ask Your mercy and forgiveness. Continue to remind me that I am never righteous in and of myself, and help me to lean on You so hard that Your absence might cause me to fall. Help me also to instill in my children a love of You and trust in Your promises.

I pray this in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

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